Wot no Women?

It is difficult to find evidence that women were united in the same way as men were in this ceremony.

We know that the same ceremony has been used of women in later years, one in a lesbian relationship and one not. Alan Bray wrote up details of the early 17th century tomb of Anne Chitting and Mary Barber in the Church of St. James in Bury, Suffolk (see the review of The Friend under Alan Bray on this site).

Historically, it would have been extremely difficult for two women to be united. They would both be poor 'spinsters' in most cultures without adequate income. Having no social standing they would be much more vulnerable. And, history is male-biased. Even if there were as many female partnerships as male partnerships we would know very little about them because women hardly ever had wealth or power.

Eastern ceremonies were flexible, and just as adelphopoiesis has been used to unite two women in the twentieth century - not in a modern culture but in a very traditional church context - it may equally well have happened in past centuries.

In this country, same-sex vows of love sealed by the Eucharist were taken as recently as those between Anne Lister and Ann Walker on the 30th March 1834. Similar arrangements are known between males in this country (and are there in graveyards and memorials if you keep your eyes open). This would not have involved the Latin rite, the Ordo ad Fratres Faciendum, but the memorials to united couples are significant as they show that there were forms of union with and without ceremonies, whatever the ceremonial element was.

Alan Bray says that the grave of Anne Chitting and Mary Barber is just one sample amongst a number of female tombs and he wonders if this is something new in the 17th century or whether the tombs are just more visible in the 17th century.