Partner Abuse / Domestic Violence
On 16th December 2005, the Croyon Advertiser ran a major article about a local man Tim‡ who had been in an unexpected, break-up row with Andrew‡ his partner. Andrew became violent, this time doing physical damage. Tim went to a call box to phone the police.
But then, against advice he went back to speak to his partner, who, quite out of character, attacked him with a knife. In his case the circumstances blew up quickly and the attack was unexpected.
What the paper did not say was that the violence had built up gradually. Andrew had hit Tim on previous occasions, when other people were watching. This is common. Often our relationships develop imperceptibly into emotional abuse, and the partners don't recognise the abuse. Even violence is not recognised.
But you may recognise someone else's partnership becoming violent and you can phone for help and advice for them before it becomes a tragedy.
In fact our relationships, the relationships of ordinary gay and lesbian people are often abusive or turn violent. If you are the victim of violence in your relationship, or a friend, you should call the police. If it's an emergency call 999, otherwise the Police Community Safety Unit will help (see Contact Us).
But no one wants their partner arrested. So there are
some services that can you can call on to prevent trouble:
Links > Partner Abuse
If you have been violent or abusive
to your partner you can choose to stop.
See Links > Partner Abuse
Alcohol related? See Links > Drugs Alcohol
Forced Marriage is also a form of domestic violence.
† Source: Prof Marianne Hester, University of Bristol and Dr Catherine Donovan, University of Sunderland.
‡ Not their real names.